Me again reporting with some of the more serious parts of my travels. As mentioned in my last post, I feel that my experiences within the past month have led me to a slew of new understandings about myself and the "real world". Some things I've learned about myself: I like chocolate (at least some kinds), I'm more patient than I give myself credit for, I don't want to settle in France when I get older, and the big one, as much as I like to think I'm responsible with money, my current financial skills need some serious rehabilitation.
Okay, while the chocolate thing isn't the most shocking realization in the world, it's underlying message is what's important. For years, I've claimed to dislike chocolate, while ironically eating chocolate ice cream and candy bars from time to time. Though I afore attributed this inconsistency to my weird taste buds (liking some things that were chocolatey and not others), I've realized now that I was, for whatever reason, lying to myself. The greater lesson I've gained from this simple issue is that I have a habit, whether it be about chocolate or more serious matters, of lying to myself (and thus those around me) about the type of person I am. I can't keep denying forever that I like something because I find security in saying I don't like it; that's a) weird, b) dishonest, and c) unfortunate, because it's a mechanism that will ultimately end in personal stagnation instead of growth. So, that is what finally embracing Willy Wonka and Hershey's has taught me.
On the topic of patience, I found that I can be tried a lot more than I previously thought and still keep my composure. One of my many personality traits that others call me out on regularly is being laid-back. This can be either good or bad, depending on the situation. But in the context of travel, I realized this is very good. Though several potential points of panic occurred while going between countries (I accidentally booked the wrong ticket and took a later flight than my friend, I really hate take-off and landing but had to deal with several of each, etc), I would freak for a moment then become instantly calm and deal with the reality of what was happening rationally. What's more, being an only child has always made me very uptight when it comes to sharing space and other items with those around me. While traveling, though, I found it both easy and enjoyable to share a room and itinerary with my friends. I think this is one of the most valuable character traits I could possess, and feel blessed to have this kind of composure in most situations (just don't expect patience during finals season :p ).
So I bet the topic of this paragraph threw you a little: "Mari doesn't want to live in France, whaaaaa?" This is a valid reaction considering that up till this semester, I was CERTAIN I wanted to live in France full-time after I graduated. While it's still one of my favorite places, I now know that I'd prefer not to live here for a long stretch of time. You see, France is like a firework, a unique explosion of one-million shiny elements meant to be experienced every-so-often. If you set that firework off too frequently (metaphorically, if you spend too much time here), it loses its allure. That doesn't exactly mean I want to live in the US, either…what I've come to understand is that I should settle in an English-speaking area with European elements (Ireland or Quebec would be my first choices). Obvi, wherever I settle down is contingent on what career I have and other factors, but it's good to have realized before gettin hitched to a Parisian that I don't want to stay in France for the rest of my life.
The final lesson about myself, that I'm not a financial wizard, was learned in a harsh way. You know how God gives you this thing called "free will" that you're allowed to use however you wish, but are advised to use responsibly? Hands up if you use it responsibly most of the time, 'cause I sure don't, and I feel like traveling was a test of how I'd use my free will that I failed. When originally planning my spring break trips with friends, I had it in mind to visit one or two really cool places in Europe (Paris included since I'd never been). However, due to the number of friends I was traveling with and the amount of time I had free (roughly 3 weeks), I decided to travel more than my budget would allow. Where did this leave me? Guiltily asking my parents for money in the middle of my travels and not getting to do some of the things my friends wanted on our trips because I had to budget so much. Though my vacation(s) were sensational, they could've been more-so had I planned and budgeted better before. As much as I hated learning this lesson the way I did, I'm glad it came in an impactful way before I entered my senior year of college and had to start making tough and important fiscal decisions about my life post-graduation. I believe that with the budgeting skills I've obtained while traveling/the newfound desire I have to save as many of my funds as possible, I'll be able to have a successful start to my adult life, as opposed to the not-so-awesome beginning that might have taken place had I never had this experience.
I know this is way long but I'm almost finished, swear! On to the life realizations I gained. For starters, I absolutely need to make sure my short-term goals are congruent with my long-term goals. Though there are so many things in life that I still wanna do, traveling has def taught me that not everything is attainable and it's important to choose wisely from the selection you're given. Piggybacking off of that, I really need to make strides towards my ultimate career goals. Being laid-back gets me in trouble when it comes to thinking everything will automatically work out. While this outlook is great optimistically, it's not so awesome realistically. In terms of career plans, I'd adopted the idea that everything would fall into place without me having to worry much. This was dumb, because in life there aren't fairy godmothers who wave wands and make your dreams come true like bippidy boppidy boo; you have to work towards them. Though I've always known and abided by this, I guess I'd forgotten in recent years that it takes more than a plan and a good education to get you to where you wanna go. You have to be intentional about getting yourself to the point of success. Sure, you'll be blessed along the way, but you can't just expect handouts throughout life while everyone else is working hard. That said, I've been researching cosmetology schools for the past several weeks to evaluate my options for earning a license within the year after I finish college, and likewise researching what it'll take to become a renowned stylist once I get certified. Instead of sitting idly and hoping for a Disney ending, I've gotta take some initiative and help myself with the tools I've been given.
Kay, I'm done! I hope this wasn't too much of a bore, I just really thought it important to share some of the important things I've come to understand. Becoming mature is a difficult journey, and while I'm NOWHERE near the end of that road (hence the title of this post being inspired by a Disney song), it's nice to know I'm getting there.
Bonne Journée,
Mari
